whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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