He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
