is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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