Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
