Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
