real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
