dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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