i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
