I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
