: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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