the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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