I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
