Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
