yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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