all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
