My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
