If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
