wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
