last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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