do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
