Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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