I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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