you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
