Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
