thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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