Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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