You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
