plz talk dirty to me
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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