I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
