wakey wakey hands off snakey
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
