we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
