i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
