Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
