i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
