she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
