i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
