dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
