i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
