a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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