elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
