I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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