Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
