I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
