Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
