I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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