in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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