You're completely useless in the revolution.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
