I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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