I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Randomize
