This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
