At least make sure they are 18
Why
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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